I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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