had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
