I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
