I cockslap morals
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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