I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
OPIZZABONMYDICK
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
