just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She bit a glass in half.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
