Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize