I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
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For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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