"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
