During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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