dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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