i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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