he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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