This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
