thus making me awesome and them whores
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
