His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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