Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
