I CAN MOONWALK!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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