I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
