It's Friday. Sex?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
