I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I need a burrito and a hug.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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