what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
