so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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