that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
