Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize