the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
