We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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