I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
