if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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