god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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