tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dick very happy bro
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