walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
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FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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