i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
