Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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