If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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