So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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