I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize