Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
