i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
