youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore