what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.