She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD