Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.