Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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