you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize