You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
