I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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