there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
