I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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