guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
