i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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