they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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