similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
