but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
