you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
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so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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