There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
