My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
