Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
