You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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