Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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