Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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