Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im holly from the hills drunk
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
